Thursday, September 2, 2010

New beginnings

I am a person who likes to begin things. And I am also easily discouraged by failure and loss. but the thing is - it's not who I want to be. I want to be ME. Strong, courageous, beautiful, clever, insightful, kind... I want to be all those things to be able to show my kids that one doesn't have to be perfect to the view of the world but just to oneself. If I can accept myself as such person, won't I be able to accept that my failures are okay? I may still want to improve, but shouldn't I still love myself even if I fail? Enough of that. You see my point - I need to start being me, even if I don't know who that is.

Step 1. I joined Toastmasters. If you never heard of such a thing - look them up. Public speaking is not my forté, so it's a good start. My first assignment is my Icebreaker speech. Subject of the speech - ME. But of course. Do they think I know who I am? Do they actually believe that it's the easiest topic out there? Nevertheless. Once I'm done with the speech I may post it on here, but for now, I just keep writing it in my head. Obsessively.

Step 2. I started going to a yoga class. *gasp*
I"ve now done two classes of easy beginner yoga and I love it. The fact that simple stretching excercize can make me ache for 3 days afterwards is alarming, but the pelasure of feeling my muscles do something is definitely worth it.

Step 3. Maintain the house. No longer I have a Mount Washmore (aka laundry) in my third bedroom. It's folded. The sink is clean every night before I go to bed. Dishwasher is working. Lunches are made in the evening, so that mornings can be dedicated to decaf coffee, my little Sophia and some cuddles. Shower would be nice too :)

This is not it. I need to get back in with cooking, exploring my new cook books (hey Jamie, did you miss me?), reading that photography book and of course - getting some use of my fan-frigging-tactic sewing machine. But for now, I'll take it slow. Baby steps.


  1. You sound suspiciously like a Flybaby. ;)

  2. Skooks, I'm just that - a baby, Cry-baby actually! I never get past the clean sink stage! But she's right about three things - clean sink, made bed and the 10 minutes per a disaster zone (my whole house classifies!)